When one door closes, it's because you got a ticket.

A bit of original tomfoolery from Oregon:

811.490 Improper opening or leaving open of vehicle door; penalty.
(1) A person commits the offense of improper opening or leaving open a vehicle door if the person does any of the following:
(a) Opens any door of a vehicle unless and until it is reasonably safe to do so and it can be done without interference with the movement of traffic, or with pedestrians and bicycles on sidewalks or shoulders.
(b) Leaves a door open on the side of a vehicle available to traffic, or to pedestrians or bicycles on sidewalks or shoulders for a period of time longer than necessary to load or unload passengers.
(2) The offense described in this section, improper opening or leaving open a vehicle door, is a Class D traffic violation.

Now, I researched this, and a Class D violation is punishable with a $90 fine.  $90 for leaving your door open "for a period of time longer than necessary".  Now what I want to know is how did a law like this come into being, and who determines what is and is not necessary?:
1.  Officer, I would have closed the door, but my child just farted and it smelled like death.  It was either open up all the doors or she would be charged with vehicular manslaughter.
2.  Officer, I would have closed it faster, but getting a HoverRound out of the back of a van takes quite a bit of time.  You see, I grew up in a time when mobility was freedom...
3.  Officer, I would close the door, but I know for a fact that as soon as I close it a bomb will explode.  The bomb is in the door.  As in, the moment my door touches it, the car will explode.  You can see it can't you?
4.  Officer, I did close my door.  Then you came over here and reopened it and then started threatening me with a fine if I didn't close it.
5.  Officer, I drive a Jeep Wrangler.  I have no doors.
6.  Officer, this isn't my car.  I was attempting to steal it and I didn't realize the owner was still in the seat and I was trying to get him out...oh sh*t...
7.  Officer, you can't mean to tell me that you're charging me a $90 fine for leaving my door open for 47.67 seconds?  You counted the f%cking milliseconds?!
8.  Officer, I can't close the door.  My car's spirit communicated to my spirit that our spirits would meet your spirit through this spiritual alignment...
9.  Officer, I'm Rush Limbaugh.  Get a real job.

In any case, I won't start closing my doors until I get a good reason.

Bad Reason to Start Closing Doors

This is not a good reason.