Objectification of Women?

Better known for their exquisite cheese (I'm lactose intolerant), this law comes from the great state of Vermont:

"Women must obtain written permission from their husbands to wear false teeth."

So here is the scene:  The whole family is at the ranch wedding for the daughter of the rich inn proprietor, and Daddy Remington, an up-and-coming taxidermist has commended the whole family to be on their best behavior.  There seems to be some very important political figures, and Remington has always had an aspiration to break into the field of public service.   Little does Remington know that his wife has been systematically replacing every tooth in her mouth with ivory duplicates that she has been receiving from her brother in New Hampshire.  However, things seem to be going well.  She's switched the family off red meats (on the pretext that they are more expensive and worse for your health) and has them all eating fish and poultry.  She double boils all the vegetables and fruits, and undercooks the bread just to be safe.  She even stopped brushing her teeth and now takes a gentle cloth to them every morning and night.  Unfortunately, the menu of the reception isn't as cooperative:  the happy bride and groom have decided to serve beef brisket, celery stalks, and an apple and pear parfait for dessert (Needless to say, the daughter is on the Atkins diet).  Momma Remington is a little dismayed, but has decided that she will just lay low and be modest with the food she's been given.  The meal is served and everything seems to be going well until Momma Remington forgets to complete pulverize a piece of celery on her plate and takes one loud, resounding crunch that rings for miles in the clear, Vermont plains.

And that is why there has never been a Vermont politician named Remington. Moral of the story:  Ladies, tell your man if you're lacking in the teeth department.  It will save you your shame and your husband's political career.  Also:

"Got Some Teeth" - Obie Trice